Guilty Pleasure

Yelling at the kids.

I know, I know, yelling isn't the best way to solve problems, blahblahblah.

And I agree.

And so do my vocal chords (sorryyyy).

But sometimes you just have to yell.

When that absolute necessity occurs, I'm not saying saying I don't like it.

And it's not that I take a perverse pleasure in shouting myself silly at a bunch of 6-year-olds, it's not that I like going on some huge power trip, and it's not that I need to prove whose jungle it really is out there, but I get to say the FUNNIEST things.

But seriously.

The first thing I yell is always the thing they're doing wrong: Sit down! No hitting! No Korean! No hokey pokey during reading time! etc, etc.

But after that, it's fair game. They don't really ever know what I'm talking about, and once I raise my voice they're cowed pretty quickly and just nod at me, so usually I just say the most absurd thing that comes to mind.

I know this might sound terrible, but they don't have any idea what I'm saying, so I get some leeway. Right?

Like for flopping-on-the-ground-kid (see previous post), I think I said something along the lines of "epileptic electric eel that licked a light socket."

Another kid kept jumping from his seat, and he was "a kangaroo on a pincushion."

And another is a running joke in my classroom, and it's "baby points". Whenever someone acts like a baby-- whines, fake cries, sucks their thumb, deliberately writes or draws really sloppily- they get a baby point tallied up next to their "good point" and "bad point'" count and I call them "Baby [name]" for the rest of class. 

When the baby point is given, I say "stop being a baby!" then usually something about diapers or.... 

Nope, it's always diapers. And by diapers, I of course mean poopy diapers. 

So really, what's the harm, right? I get to make a poop joke, they be quiet/sit down/stop whining. 

We all win! Right? 

If you've taken a psychology of teaching or education course, please wait until my year is over to tell me exactly how I am screwing these kids up. Thanks!

Ps: Never. Ever. Google image search "poopy diaper". Seriously. There's a reason there's no picture in that part of the post, and that reason may or may not be related to me throwing up in my mouth.

PPSS: To everyone who just went and google image searched poopy diaper: I told you so.